


Every Tattoo Gun Has Its Thorns

by LittleLynn



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Florist Robert, M/M, Tattoo Artist Joseph, florist/tattoo artist au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLynn/pseuds/LittleLynn
Summary: “Yeah. I bet I could convince you to get a tattoo right now.”“The only thing I’m interested in getting right now is your number.” Robert replied, and that cute blush was back.“This is the only pen I have,” Joseph joked, gesturing over to his tattoo gun. "I’ll have to tattoo it on your arm.” Joseph continued, and he was clearly joking.“Alright.”





	Every Tattoo Gun Has Its Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> [atlasisreal](http://atlasisreal.tumblr.com/) was talking about and drawing a florist/tattoist au and I couldn't help myself <3 Thank you to [tunaboy2](http://tunaboy2.tumblr.com/) for the glorious title!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

 

Robert at least felt a little bit bad, he shouldn’t have had that drink and he knew it. The second one was definitely very bad not good and he felt guilty about letting Val down. But with the third one came the tipsiness and washing away of most of the guilt. At least until morning.

It wasn’t like he was _drunk_ he just had a healthy buzz going.

But more importantly, it wasn’t like he was drinking alone in his house in the dark, which he was pretty sure had been the most concerning part about his habit. He was out at the bar, and not the seedy old place he used to hide at, a trendy new bar closer to the flower shop. There were actual people here instead of just the odd rodent and health violation.

He was celebrating anyway, he’d actually made a profit this month, if things continued as they were then he wouldn’t have to worry about the shop staying afloat, which Robert thought warranted a little celebration at least.

And now that he had a nice bit of warmth in him he was going to do the good thing and leave the bar before he could order another. Something he wouldn’t have been able to do not that long ago.

Robert wandered back outside and checked, casting a look back at his flower shop, and satisfied that nothing was amiss started the walk home. Or at least he would have, that was definitely 100% his intention, but that was a _very_ pretty man in that shop window over there. Now pre-three drinks, Robert probably wouldn’t have lost his sanity and would have carried on walking anyway, but post-three drink’s Robert could apparently not be trusted and found himself going into the shop.

Parlour, it was a tattoo parlour. What Robert had failed to notice while ogling the pretty man became quite clear when he went in. It was surprisingly brightly lit and spacious for a tattoo parlour, or maybe Robert had just been going to the dodgy ones all these years. Robert felt a little lost until someone spoke and he remembered the pretty man.

“Hey sailor, anything I can do for you?” Pretty man asked and Robert’s slightly hazy mind wondered exactly how someone was able to smile that bright at ten in the evening.

“You’re still open?” Robert said, brain going on slow because _clearly_ they were still open.

“I sure hope so otherwise I could be at home.” The man grinned. “We stay open late, a lot of folks don’t have time to get their tattoo’s done during the day.” He then explained, Robert nodding along, probably looking like one of those dumb nodding dogs people put in their cars.

“Well, lucky me.” Robert said before he could think better of it, then was glad he hadn’t because he was all but blinded by that smile. “What’s your name?”

“Did you just come in to flirt with me?”

“You complaining?” Robert asked, eyebrow raised and feeling far too triumphant when he bought a blush to those milky cheeks.

“No,” he replied, and the fucker was biting his lip, Robert would bet he knew exactly what he was doing as well. “What’s your name?”

“Robert.”

“Pleasure to meet you, I’m Joseph.” Joseph replied holding out his hand and smiling sweetly as he all but caressed Robert’s hand. Yeah, pretty boy definitely knew what he was doing.

“Laying it on pretty thick sunshine, something you want?” Robert teased, Joseph treating him to a mock scandalised expression, complete with a hand on his chest.

“Just my winning customer service.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I bet I could convince you to get a tattoo right now.”

“The only thing I’m interested in getting right now is your number.” Robert replied, and that cute blush was back.

“This is the only pen I have,” Joseph joked, gesturing over to his tattooist needle. I’ll have to tattoo it on your arm.” Joseph continued, and he was _clearly_ joking.

“Alright.”

“What?”

“Alright.” Robert repeated, rolling up his sleeve.

“You can’t be serious.” Joseph said, but he was still smiling and Robert could tell he was amused and a little flustered and right now that was all he cared about.

“Take it as a compliment.”

“This is insane, I can just write it on a piece of paper.” Joseph pointed out, but he was clearly enjoying what was happening, following Robert as he walked over to the chair he’d spotted.

“I don’t see any paper.” Robert said and it was bullshit, they both knew it was bullshit, of course there was paper here, but their eyes were locked and Joseph licked his lips and Robert knew he had him.

“Are you absolutely sure?” Joseph asked, readying his needle and cleaning off a patch of skin on Robert’s forearm.

“So long as you’re not about to give me a fake number.”

“That’s just a risk you’re going to have to take,” Joseph replied, and with a wink he started tattooing his number into Robert’s arm.

Robert was, no doubt going to regret this in the morning. But that was a problem for future Robert, and right now, he was having far too much fun to stop. It wasn’t very painful and didn’t take very long and Joseph had a dumb smile on his face the whole way though. Worth it.

“If you don’t call me I’m going to be very upset.” Joseph said as he wiped off Robert’s new tattoo, using the opportunity to run his hands over Robert’s arm.

“When do you get off?” Robert asked.

“There’s a joke in there somewhere.” Joseph teased. “Not for another couple of hours. Late night tattoos, who know there was a market for it.”

“How much for this one?” Robert asked, making his way back around the counter, Joseph leaning up on the other side.

“Hmmm, I’d say one date sounds about the right price. Or at least a tour of your house…”

“All of my house, or just specific parts?”

“You tell me.” Joseph murmured, smirking as he no doubt caught Robert staring at his lips. They were a nice pair of lips.

“I’ll call you.” Robert said, leaving the parlour with a wink and a new tattoo.

 

“Dad?” Robert was woken up by the sound of Val calling through from the living room, she must have let herself in. He checked the clock quickly, realising he’d forgotten to set his alarm last night and being more than a little grateful that he was only actually running a few minutes late, that could have been bad.

“In here.” Robert called back a little groggily, he wasn’t hungover, took quite a bit more than what he had had last night to achieve that, but he was feeling a tad hazy.

“Aren’t you usually up by now? The shop’s supposed to be open in an hour.” She said, slightly judgementally but no less lovingly as she barged into his room.

“I’m getting there.” Robert said, trying to mentally shake himself into getting out of bed.

“What did you – what the hell is on your arm?” Val’s question switched tracks halfway through and Robert immediately snapped up to sitting and brought his arm up to where it could see it, the numbers tattooed on there coming into focus. Huh. So that hadn’t been a dream. 

Robert started laughing and flopped back on the bed, oddly enough, finding that tattoo on his arm had improved his mood already rather than ruining his day.

“Care to share?”

“It’s a cute man’s number.”

“I’m happy for you, really I am. But _please_ tell me that isn’t an actual tattoo.”

“I can’t do that, I promised to stop lying.”

“ _God_ dad, why would you do that?”

“I, um, had had a couple of drinks and he was very pretty?”

“You what?” She asked, far more sharply.

“Sorry.” Robert said sheepishly, he hated feeling like he was letting her down, but he had promised to stop lying and that included omitting or bending the truth. “I was barely tipsy and I was at that new place near the shop, so it wasn’t like I was here by myself. You can check the place, if you like?”

“Just don’t do it again, it’s all very well thinking you have it under control but that’s when you find yourself three bottles deep at two in the afternoon and not having pulled the curtains back in a week again.”

“Sorry.”

“I just worry about you.”

“I know. It was stupid.”

“So tell me about this man.” She said with a sigh, Robert beyond grateful for the subject change.

“Uh, he’s blonde and flirty and his name is Joseph and he works at a tattoo parlour.”

“You going to call him?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“You’re a lesbian Val so I’m afraid I can’t make that promise.” Robert pointed out as he threw on some clothes.

“Gross dad.” Val scrunched her face up at him and Robert smiled, unable to believe he’d recovered so much closeness with his daughter. “Anyway, I was just popping in to remind you that me and Natalie are going away for the week.”

“I hadn’t forgotten.” Robert said, heading out his bedroom and putting on enough coffee for the two of them. “Want a cup?”

“Only if I can snatch a thermos, I’ve really got to run.”

“No problem.” Robert answered, pulling his only coffee thermos out of the cupboard. “Have a great time, you hear? And give Natalie my best.”

“We will. Enjoy your date with the cute blonde man, make sure he knows I’ll tear his balls off is he hurts you.” Val said as she headed for the door, Robert rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “See you in a week!”

“See ya Val, love you, stay safe.”

“Will do! Love you too.” She said, and with that she was gone leaving Robert wondering how he’d gotten so lucky that their relationship had healed so well.

Robert drank his coffee, only just not burning his mouth as he chugged it and scarfed down a piece of toast before heading out the door and back to the flower shop. It was a pretty good day with a steady flow of customers. Mat came by and bought another bouquet, Robert legitimately had no idea who he was giving them too, for all Robert knew he was decorating his house with them.

It was during his lunchbreak that Robert left his teenage helper in charge for a few minutes (how much trouble could a kid cause in a few minutes) and called the number etched into his arm. It only rang twice before being picked up.

“You know, I was starting to get worried that you really weren’t going to call.” Joseph’s voice greeted him, Robert ignored the fact that that was enough to get him to smile.

“It’s only been fourteen hours.” Robert pointed out, glad that he wasn’t the only one anticipating whatever it was that was going to happen between them.

“Mmm fourteen hours too long.” Joseph teased, Robert firmly ignored the way his mouth went dry.

“So, you free tonight?”

“I’m sure I can make space in my busy schedule for someone as handsome as you.”

“You just want that tour?” Robert asked, quite happy just to take Joseph straight back to his bedroom, but strangely enough not put off by the idea of buying him dinner first, usually Robert didn’t go in for that sort of thing.

“If that’s what you want, though I’m never adverse to being wined and dined first.”

“Think you’re worth that do you?”

“I think I can make it worth your while.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight, text me where.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“See you later sunshine.” Robert said and hung up the call, feelinga buzzing anticipation in his gut that he hadn’t since he was a kid.

Robert re-emerged into the shop to find his woefully incompetent but well-meaning teenage helper getting yelled at by a patron for putting the wrong coloured tulips into her arrangement. She’d probably used snobby words like cerulean and viridescent and confused the poor kid. Robert saved him from his misery, fixed the arrangement and bid the woman good riddance.

“Robert, bro!” Craig beamed as he stepped into the shop, River still a permanent fixture on his chest.

“Craig.” Robert grunted in response, doing nothing to dampen Craig’s huge smile and sunny disposition.

“I need a bouquet man, like real urgent. Got myself a date tonight, I thought it was just BRUHnch you know, but the twins laughed at me and damn now I need a bouquet or something.”

“A date huh?” Robert asked, pulling together some flowers, last he’d heard Craig and the new guy on the block had already been on quite a few dates, maybe the bouquet was Craig trying to make up for not having noticed.

“Yeah man!”

“Know anywhere local that’s good for food?”

“You got a date too? It’s okay you don’t have to tell me, I know you’re more of a play it close to the chest kinda guy.” Craig continued to smile at him, Robert wondered how it was that his persistently sunny outlook didn’t get annoying. “And I dunno, I like the diner but it’s not very date-y. Smashly always liked that fancy French place though!”

“Okay, thanks man. This alright?” Robert asked, holding up the simple but sweet bouquet.

“Perfect!” Craig answered, pulling out his wallet. “Good luck on your date too bro!” Craig said as a farewell after he paid, Robert waved in goodbye but Craig was already jogging away.

Robert had no idea if the French place was going to be too fancy, but it’d have to do, because he didn’t know of anywhere else they could go. Besides, Joseph had said he wanted to be wined and dined.

 

Robert pulled up to the tattoo parlour at eight, because that was the address Joseph had texted him, why he hadn’t just said that he’d be here when Robert asked was beyond him. Besides did this guy ever go home? Well, he wasn’t tonight, that was for sure, Robert thought to himself with a grin.

“Ooo, he rides a motorcycle too, how sexy.” Joseph smiled as Robert pulled up.

“Get on.” Robert covered up his smile by holding out the only helmet to Joseph.

“What about you?”

“Only got the one helmet.” Robert shrugged. “And we can’t be letting that pretty face get all messed up now can we.”

Joseph laughed and slid onto the bike behind Robert, cosying up to Robert’s back immediately and wrapping his strong arms snugly around Robert’s waist. Joseph held on tight as Robert drove them through the streets and Robert would be lying if he said he didn’t like the feeling of Joseph behind him like that.

“Well this is fancy.” Joseph said as he climbed off the bike when Robert parked up at the French place. Robert was about to be a bit self-conscious about his choice, he was more of a crappy pizza joint person himself, but then he noticed Joseph smiling and realised the other man actually seemed kind of happy about his choice.

“Well, you said you wanted to be wined and dined.” Robert said with a nonchalant shrug, as if this was a thing he did with all his flings – was this even a fling, was it officially a fling instead of a booty call if you bought a nice dinner?

“Hey I’m not complaining.” Joseph replied, letting Robert rest his hand on the small of his back and guide him inside.

A waiter seated them and brought them menus, Robert was surprised by how easily Joseph made the conversation flow, he had been worried about awkward silences, too busy anticipating what was going to come later (hopefully both of them) to make conversation. But Joseph carried the conversation, he was in his mid-thirties and was a tattooist and a youth minister on weekends. Robert pointed out that that was a strange combination and Joseph just grinned, he clearly knew that already.

“Do you do this often?”

“What tattoo my number on strange men’s arms and then go to dinner with them? I have to admit you’re the first.” Joseph dodged, because that was definitely a dodge, but Robert let it go, he didn’t need to be the only one, he’d just make sure he was a memorable one. And maybe if this evening went well, he’d become a recurring one. Which was a strange thought for Robert, because he usually wasn’t into that.

Joseph moaned as he ate his main, as if it was the best food he’d ever eaten in his life, and Robert gave him a pointed look that said ‘I know exactly what you’re doing and Joseph’s eye’s just sparkled in response and Robert knew that Joseph knew that it was working, even if Robert could see straight through it.

“You’ll have to let me give you a proper tattoo at some point.” Joseph mused as the finished their mains, reaching out to trail his fingertips over Robert’s fresh new tattoo, he’s already been reprimanded by Joseph for not covering it with something.

Robert was pretty sure he’d let Joseph do whatever he wanted right now. Joseph threw his head back and laughed and Robert realised he’d said that bit out loud, difficult to be embarrassed about it when he was distracted by that laugh though.

“Is that so?” Joseph said playfully, a note of mischief going through his voice as he ran his foot up the inside of Robert’s calf.

“You want desert?” Robert asked, clearing his throat and trying not to get turned on in the middle of a restaurant.

“Right now the only thing I want is to get out of here.” Joseph replied, running a finger across is bottom lip and yeah, Robert was getting the bill right now.

“Can we get the bill please?” Robert immediately snagged a passing waitress and Joseph laughed again, it was a nice laugh.

Robert put on his best neutral face as he lead Joseph back out of the restaurant, doing his best to ignore the way Joseph was playing with the hem of Robert’s shirt as they walked – what kind of youth minister _was_ this guy. When they reached the car park Robert was going to head straight for his bike and get them both back to his place as quickly as he could, Joseph it seemed, was a little more impatient than that and Robert found himself pushed up against a wall and with a pair of hungry lips on his own.

He didn’t mind in the slightest.

“Mmmm,” Joseph hummed happily as Robert started kissing him back just as enthusiastically, running his hands up under Joseph’s shirt as Joseph pressed up against him.

“Didn’t think you were the type to want to get fucked in the dark corner of a car park.” Robert teased between nips at Joseph’s lips, gasping himself when Joseph moved and latched his lips onto Robert’s neck, pinning his forearms against the wall with a surprisingly strong grip.

“What makes you think I’m the one getting fucked?” Joseph asked, voice whispering into Robert’s ear.

Robert swallowed thickly and felt his dick get a little harder. “Yeah, yeah that’s good too.” He said, voice rougher than he’s realised. “Not here though, get on the bike.” Robert said, Joseph going willingly as Robert pushed him off him and towards the bike.

It was a miracle they didn’t crash on the short ride back to Robert’s place with the way Joseph was practically grinding against his back, making sure Robert could feel his half hard cock. He hadn’t been this turned on his he was a teenager, Joseph was probably a hazard to his health, but Robert couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Nice place.” Joseph said demurely as they climbed off the bike.

“Shut up and get inside.” Robert replied, his patience all but gone, Joseph chuckled but followed him in, hands already on Robert’s hips.

Joseph eagerly followed Robert to his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind himself and pushing Robert down onto the bed as soon as he got his bearings. They kicked off their shoes and Robert tossed his jacket to the side before scooting up the bed, Joseph crawling up the bed towards him, pushing Robert’s legs apart and ducking down to kiss him.

They barely paused for breath, only parting when they needed to pull off clothes until Robert turned away to reach into his bedside drawer and pull out a bottle of lube and some condoms, tossing them both at Joseph who sat back to catch them, giving Robert a good look at him, the pair of them naked but for their underwear.

Joseph was toned, buff wouldn’t be the right word, but there was definitely definition there, Robert ran his hand over Joseph’s stomach, feeling each of his abs. He tried not to let it make him self-conscious about his own body, he was in good shape, much better than most men his age, but there was no denying that there was a bit of dough covering the muscles he did have.

“Like what you see?” Joseph cheeked and Robert glared at him before gasping because Joseph chose that moment to run his finger from base to tip over his clothed cock. “I think you do.” Joseph said playfully, toying with Robert’s hard cock.

“Should have known you’d be a fucking tease.” Robert grunted, reaching around to smack Joseph lightly on his ass before twanging the elastic on his briefs. “You ever gunna take these off?”

“You first.” Joseph answered before manhandling Robert’s legs so that he could get Robert’s underwear off. “Mm, very nice.” Joseph winked, bending down and pressing a kiss to Robert’s leaking tip, licking his lips as he straightened back up.

“Fucker.” Robert growled, reaching forward and pushing Joseph’s waistband down just far enough to free his cock. Fuck, even Joseph’s cock was pretty, if there even was such a thing. Robert wrapped a hand around Joseph’s pretty pink cock and gave him a firm stroke, feeling a little victorious when Joseph gasped and rocked into his hand. “You ever going to get around to fucking me? Or can you not put your money where your mouth is?” Robert challenged, giving Joseph’s ass a firm squeeze before grabbing a condom and rolling it onto Joseph’s cock.

“But it’s just so much fun to tease you.” Joseph grinned, but he was reaching for the lube Robert had passed him earlier and slicking up his fingers.

“Be more fun to fuck me.” Robert bit back, but there was no heat in it, this was already the best sex he’d had in a very long time.

“Oh I don’t doubt it.” Joseph said, a dangerous little sparkle in his eyes and Robert found himself being flipped onto his front before he could mount any kind of resistance, Joseph plastering himself to Robert’s back and pinning him down effectively. “Right where I want you.” Joseph whispered, biting at Robert’s earlobe as he slid his index finger inside Robert, effectively silencing any protest with a deep moan.

“Fuck that’s good.” Robert groaned as Joseph wasted little time before pressing in a second finger alongside the first, his teeth a permanent tease against the nape of Robert’s neck and the meat of his shoulder.

Joseph scissor him open carefully, stretching him thoroughly with two fingers and then three, stroking around inside Robert until he found what he was no doubt looking for and sent Robert moaning into the pillow with a jerk of pleasure.

“Found it.” Joseph said, sounding like the smug fucker he clearly was.

Robert was into it.

“You ready?” Joseph asked, stretching Robert wide on his three fingers as he asked, letting Robert feel his hot cock against his ass.

“Yeah.” Robert answered, doing his best not to sound like a panting mess already.

Joseph knelt behind him, pulling Robert up on his hands and knees, squeezing the globes of Robert’s ass and landing a smack there that Robert was helpless to resist moaning at. Robert could feel the head of Joseph’s cock brushing against his hole, one last tease as Joseph pressed gently before backing off and doing it again, not even putting the head inside him.

“Fuck sake,” Robert groaned in frustration as he rocked his ass back against Joseph but was still denied.

“Ask nicely,” Joseph all but purred into his ear and fuck, apparently Robert was into that too.

“Please.” Robert responded immediately, too wound up to worry about what he sounded like in that moment.

Joseph chuckled deep and throaty before finally pushing his cock inside Robert in one smooth slide, not stopping until Robert could feel his balls pressed up against his ass. They both groaned, Joseph thankfully holding still for a few moments as Robert adjusted to his girth. Joseph didn’t move until Robert started rocking back against him, taking that as the permission it was and starting to pull back and thrust back into him.

Joseph set the pace, holding Robert’s hips in a tight hold that would probably leave bruises, building up a steady rhythm that was already driving Robert wild. Joseph pulled at Robert’s hips, getting him to bury his face down in the pillow and raise his ass higher, the new angle leaving Joseph ramming straight into his sweet spot on almost every stroke and making Robert glad of the pillows at least somewhat muffling his moans. It felt like every nerve in his body was alight with pleasure and his cock was leaking freely onto the covers in a way he was sure it hadn’t since he was a teenager.

“Fuck.” Joseph panted as Robert found the presence of mind to roll his hips back, meeting each of Joseph’s hard thrusts and  the energy to squeeze his ass around Joseph’s cock as tight as he could given his current situation.

Joseph fucked him hard and deep and exactly like he wanted, holding Robert down in a way that was only increasing his desire, leaving Robert with just enough wiggle room to reach a hand under himself and start stroking his neglected cock, only to have his arm tugged out from under himself and pinned to the bed.

“Fuck. _Please_.” Robert whined, getting a dirty laugh in his ear and almost coming instantly as Joseph wrapped his own hand around Robert’s cock.

“You want to come?” Joseph asked, and no one should have the right to sound that dirty, even during sex.

“Yes.” Robert hissed, panting hard as Joseph drove into him with hard, deep thrusts at a pace that he couldn’t possibly hope to keep up much longer, meaning he was probably getting close too.

“Well, you have been very good for me.” Joseph teased, giving his cock a firm squeeze as he started to stroke in time with his thrusts and Robert knew it wasn’t going to take long.

“Gunna come.” Robert gasped, his hips losing rhythm as they tried to chance Joseph’s hand and cock simultaneously.

“Go on then, come.” Joseph murmured into his ear, voice treading the line between permission and an order.

“ _Fuck_.” Robert groaned, Joseph fucking into him just twice more before he was coming over the covers, his body shaking with the intensity of his orgasm, climax dragging out as Joseph massaged his balls until he was completely spent.

“You alright?” Joseph asked as Robert collapsed against the bed, voice strained with the effort of hold his hips still.

“Yeah,” Robert panted, surprised he could form words. “You close?”

“Yeah.” Joseph replied, rocking his hips so gently Robert wasn’t sure he knew he was doing it.

“Come on then.” Robert moaned, pushing his hips back against Joseph as best he could given his limbs felt like jelly and whimpering unabashedly as Joseph started fucking his overstimulated body in earnest again.

Joseph groaned loudly as he came, Robert doing his best to squeeze his fucked-out muscles around him to make it good, and by the sound of it, it was, Joseph’s hips stilling as he came and moving gently as he rode out his own aftershocks. Joseph pulled out of him with surprising care and collapsed beside him, pulling off the condom and throwing it towards the trash can, thankfully it didn’t miss.

“That was…” Joseph trailed off, still panting hard.

“Yeah.” Robert agreed.

After a few minutes of post-coital bliss Robert forced himself to get up, grabbing a washcloth out the bathroom and cleaning up before returning to his bed and tugging the somewhat siled covers out from under Joseph so that they could both get under them instead. He should probably get clean ones but he really couldn’t be bothered right now.

“You can stay.” Robert yawned as he climbed back into bed, and Joseph was apparently a cuddler because he immediately rolled into Robert, tangling them together. Robert was sure he wouldn’t be able to get any rest like that, but he was asleep within minutes.

 

Robert was woken by Joseph moving beside him, morning light streaming through his cheap curtains.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” Joseph said, leaning back over to Robert and kissing him.

“Work?” Robert asked, he needed to be thinking about getting up too really. “Or sneaking out?”

“I’m clearly not very good at sneaking if that was what I was trying to do.” Joseph pointed out, climbing out of the bed and starting to find his clothes, Robert checking out his naked ass as he did so. It was a nice ass, bubbly.

“I can make coffee, if you like.”

“I need to get home, change my clothes.”

“Don’t fancy the walk of shame?” Robert grinned, stretching languidly and shuffling into a half-sitting position.

“The shame I could handle, wearing dirty clothes I cannot.” Joseph replied with mock haughtiness, it was cute.

“Priss.” Robert teased and it was Joseph’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I need to go, but you should definitely call me.” Joseph said. “You’ve still got my number after all.” He said and with a smirk he was gone.

Robert was definitely going to call again. Probably sooner than any self-respecting person should. He’d do his best to wait till tomorrow at least.

With a gargantuan effort, Robert dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom for a quick shower, going through his morning routine at a more languid pace than he could probably afford if he wanted to open the store on time, but that he was in too good a mood to disrupt. Robert walked to work, he usually did and had just enough time if he made it brisk, and he really didn’t fancy sitting on his motorbike after last night’s excursions.

His trusty teenage helper, who’s name he really had been trying to remember, was waiting outside the shop, checking his phone frantically and looking relieved when Robert showed up. Honestly who was relieved when their boss showed up, clearly he was too soft on the kid. They usually didn’t get any customers for the first half hour, so he left the kid manning the shop and went into the backroom to create some of their more expensive arrangements to go out on display when they were done.

He was surprised to hear the bell on the door trill fairly early, signalling their first customer, he kept one ear out, but the kid could probably handle it. Or not, Robert sighed to himself when the kid came into the backroom wringing his hands.

“The man would like a nice bouquet for his wife.” The kid told him and Robert snorted to himself.

“Wonder what he did to piss her off. You can handle that can’t you?”

“Well I was going to but then yesterday that woman didn’t like the bouquet I made so I thought you might want to do it instead?” The kid said, eyes begging Robert to please do it and spare me from interacting with customers.

“Fine, I’ll do this one, but you’ll have to do the next one yourself. You’re more than capable and that woman was just a bitch.” Robert agreed because he was far too soft. “Make sure the tulips and roses have enough water.” He left the kid with a task, wiping his hands off on his apron as he headed out to the front.

“Hi, sorry I hear you want a bouquet for your wife – what the fuck.” Robert stopped in his tracks as he looked up from his apron and found none other than Joseph stood frozen in place in front of him. “Well, I guess I know what kind of bouquet this is.” Robert crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to let any hurt show on his face, only anger, derision. Things this asshole clearly deserved.

“ _Fuck_. This isn’t what it looks like.” Joseph floundered, having the good sense not to take more than a step closer to Robert.

“Oh? So it’s not a sorry I fucked another man bouquet for your wife?” Robert ground out, hands balling into fists.

“It’s not like that it’s – ”

“Oh, so you don’t have a wife and these aren’t for her?”

“No, I mean yes but Robert – ”

“Get out.” Robert sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Go buy your adultery flowers elsewhere.” Robert said, returning into the backroom and slamming the door behind him.

The kid had the good sense not to ask him what just happened.

Robert spent the rest of the day convincing himself that he wasn’t upset. How could he be, Joseph had only been a one night stand after all. If anything he was upset for his poor wife, not himself. (Bullshit). (Why’d the only guy he’d liked in years have to be fucking married) (a no-good lying cheat).

Robert ignored about ten calls and deleted the messages Joseph sent unread, and he didn’t open the store the next day. He ended up feeling quite proud of himself though, because he only gave himself that day to wallow and he did not touch a drink. Val would be proud. Val would also tear Joseph’s balls off if she found out about this. (Not that he wouldn’t deserve it).

He opened the flower shop up the next day and busied himself amongst the flowers, he was clearly giving off some kind of vibe because the kid didn’t ask him to save him from the customers. He really needed to ask his name but it was at that point where it was fucking awkward that he didn’t know, maybe he’d tell him to make a name badge so the customers knew or something, then he could just read it off that.

“Robert?” The kid asked on day two of Robert’s immersion in the back room.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry. I made him go away yesterday but he’s refusing to go anywhere until he sees you today.” Robert didn’t need to ask who, he hadn’t even realised Joseph had come by yesterday, clearly he should give the kid a raise as well as learning his raise.

Robert sighed, wondered what he’d ever done to offend the powers that be so much that this was his life, and headed out to the front.

“Can’t you take a fucking hint?” Robert asked, glaring at Joseph and not liking the steely resolve he found in response.

“No. You’re the best flower shop in town, and I won’t settle for less than the best.”

“Well tough shit because you’re not welcome here.”

“I want to buy one of your $200 personalised arrangements.” Joseph responded and shit, shit shit shit, Robert couldn’t really turn that down. They sold so few of those and it made more than a little difference to the weeks earnings. Last month had been the first time he’d turned a profit, he couldn’t really turn this down.

“I make the arrangement, you pay, then you fuck off back to your wife and don’t show your face here again.” Robert told him, Joseph agreeing hastily, Robert refusing to look at him.

“First I’d like some purple hyacinth’s.” Joseph started and that was a weird as fuck flower to want in a fancy arrangement but Robert was determinedly not caring. Maybe they were his wife’s favourite flower, who the fuck knew.

Joseph asked for more flowers and Robert grew more and more confused at the weird mix. Gardenias, Valley lilies, ivy (Robert really didn’t get the ivy), Asphodel and white tulips. It looked ridiculous, like a blind toddler had thrown together random flowers. The whole way through Joseph just smiled at Robert, like there was something he was supposed to be getting.

“And lastly what’s your favourite flower.”

“I don’t have one. The fuck does it matter anyway.”

“Because you look like you have good taste. Indulge me.” Joseph replied and Robert couldn’t think of anything worse than indulging Joseph right now, but if it made him leave the shop faster then it couldn’t be a bad thing.

“Viscaria.” Robert said, adding some of the flowers into the mismatched and frankly ugly bouquet,

“Perfect.” Joseph smiled, handing over two crisp one-hundred dollar bills and turning to leave the store.

“Hey genius, you forgot your flowers.” Robert called after him, becoming irritated.

“They’re not for me.”

“No, they’re for your poor wife.”

“No they’re for you.”

“Well I don’t want an ugly bouquet of flowers, especially from you! I have plenty of flowers.” Robert griped back, dropping the bouquet on the counter.

“Wait, don’t you get it?”

“Get what, that you’re an ass?”

“No, the flowers.”

“Yeah, they’re ugly, an awful combination.”

“But, they all have connotations of ‘I’m sorry’? I thought you’d get it, you own a flower shop.” Joseph said, looking a little awkward all of a sudden.

“For fuck sake sunshine do I look like I know the bloody language of flowers!? And I don’t want your ugly apology bouquet either. You want to grovel buy me something I can actually use.”

“So you want me to grovel?” Joseph asked, lighting up with a bit of hope. Robert needed to stamp that out now.

“No. I don’t. I want you not to be a lying, adulterous asshole. I mean what was it gunna be? You asked me to call you again so what, flowers for your wife every time you came home the morning after so you didn’t feel quite as guilty?”

“It’s not – ”

“Look. Your marriage is your business, and I’m doing my best not to care about you or it at all. But I’m not going to be your dirty little secret, so I’m not interested Joseph, I haven’t got time for that shit and I haven’t got time for someone like you.” Robert said, surprisingly calmly, crossing his arms over his chest and feeling quite proud of himself, a year ago he probably would have taken whatever he could get and found the bottom of a bottle every time Joseph went home to his wife.

“Please will you let me explain though. I don’t want to make excuses, I am cheating on my wife. But it’s not, it’s just not simple okay?” Joseph pleaded, and it was pleading, far too much sincerity in his eyes for Robert to feel comfortable, for Robert to keep his barriers up. Fuck, what was it about that face that had him helpless to resist.

“You have two minutes.” Robert said, keeping his arms firmly crossed.

“Oh, I was hoping we could go somewhere.” Joseph said awkwardly, looking around the shop, it was empty at the moment, but someone could walk through the door at any moment. Didn’t want to air  his dirty laundry in public, no doubt.

“One minute fifty seconds.”

“Right. Okay. Things with Mary aren’t good. In fact they’re awful, have been for ages. I cheat and she drinks and we know we’re bad for each other. We don’t love each other anymore, we both know that. She knows I have affairs, when she first found out I was so ashamed, but all she said was she was more upset that she couldn’t find it in herself to care than she was about the actual affair. Our marriage is dead. I’m not saying that makes what I do right or okay, but it is what it is.”

“So why stay together? That sounds pretty fucking unhealthy.”

“We have four kids, we were trying to stay together for them, give them a stable upbringing.”

“While I appreciate the thought, that’s fucked. What do you think will mess with them more, parents that get a divorce and at least try to stay civil, or growing up with parents who clearly don’t love each other. And they’ll find out Joseph, this kind of stuff always comes out. One day they’ll find out you’ve been having affairs with men for years and I can promise you that will be worse than you and Mary leaving each other now and you having a new relationship after.”

“I know, I know. We both know. But we thought we could make it work even though we were clearly wrong. But habits are hard to break and we’re so involved with the church I was ashamed, you don’t _get_ divorced, or at least you’re not supposed to, and you’re certainly not supposed to carry on with men. So I was a coward and I stayed with her and Mary stays with me because she just doesn’t have the energy to do anything else. I was a coward.”

“’S a nice story Joseph, but I’m still not getting involved in all that.” Robert sighed, proud of himself again for saying no, he really was in a better place than he was last year, last year he would have made do with begging for scraps.

“But you changed the game Robert, in just a few days you changed the game.”

“What do you mean?”

“You make me want to be brave. You make me want to leave, I finally feel like I actually have something to lose if I carry on with Mary and I don’t want to lose that.” Joseph said, looking at Robert a little desperately and Robert kind of hated himself for what he was about to say.

“Don’t leave Mary for me Joseph, you need to do that for yourself. For the both of you.” Robert sighed, besides, a lot of guys said they were going to leave their wives, they never did though, just a line to keep their bit on the side happy.  

“Oh. So, I’ve ruined this? Already.”

“I won’t be with a married guy Joseph, I won’t do that to myself.” Robert shrugged, heading into the backroom and waiting there until he was sure Joseph was gone.

He kind of hated himself sometimes.

 

Robert didn’t see Joseph for a few weeks, but he did see a laser removal specialist and book and appointment for a few more weeks away. Needless to say he wanted the number gone. Joseph didn’t call or text or come to the store again and Robert was somehow simultaneously sad and relieved about that. God only knew if he’d have the resolve to send him away again, he knew he’d done the right thing, but he still regretted it sometimes. Usually at night, when he was alone, when he remembered he was lonely.

It was five weeks, before Joseph walked back through the door of the flower shop and Robert prayed to any deity that was listening for some kind of inner strength as Joseph pushed a large envelope across the counter towards him.

“What’s this?” Robert sighed, he almost didn’t, because it was so clearly what Joseph wanted him to ask.

“Finalised divorce papers.”

“That was fast.” Robert replied, refusing to feel relief or hope, trying (and failing) not to feel anything at all about it.

“I think Mary was relived, it made it all go much faster, much smoother. It was amicable.”

“I’m glad. I don’t know why you’re bringing them to me, but I’m glad. What you were doing was unhealthy.”

“I know. And, well, you said you wouldn’t get involved with a married man, and well, I’m…not, anymore.”

“So first you expect me to know the language of flowers and now you’re asking me out with divorce papers. You’re a weird guy Joseph.”

“A weird guy that you like…?” Joseph trailed off, actually looking a little unsure. It was cute.

“Probably says more about my poor taste than it does about your charms sunshine.” Robert grumbled, but it was clearly all the affirmative that Joseph needed, because he was already beaming, looking like a giddy child.

“Robert I – ”

“You’re not done grovelling yet.” Robert griped, but there was no heat behind it, not anymore. “And you had better take me somewhere nice tonight.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight?” Joseph asked, his smile was contagious, it was irritating. (It was cute).

“Don’t be late. Now get out, I have customers.”

Joseph nodded before testing his luck and leaning over the counter to kiss Robert on the cheek. His luck clearly held out, because Robert didn’t mind at all.

He never did bother to go to that laser removal appointment.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> come say hi or prompt me on [tumblr](http://shadyanne.tumblr.com/)


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